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So this is the end of 23. Today is the day before my 24th bday. If you’re still here with me, thank you SO much for supporting my life up to this point. Honestly, 23 was a roller-coaster like no other. Some pretty major shit happened❕I fell in love, got a new job, was featured in @sdvoyagermag , threw a mental health awareness event w/ @damescollective.sd , got serious about fitness, went to more raves/concerts than I can count, got my heart broken and - for the first time - I tried to take my own life. Yes, you read that right. I almost made a huge mistake. On July 16th, my world changed. I became inconsolably depressed and made two attempts to end everything: 1) I went to the rooftop of my apartment building and contemplated jumping. The only thing that stopped me then was the doubt that I’d likely only break my bones, but not die. 2) I tried to hang myself from an exposed pipe in my home. I was pretty certain that was going to be it. So what stopped me? As much as I wanted to end myself, I knew what I’d be missing if I didn’t stay. I thought about my best friend @sea_foams and how fucked up it‘d be if she didn’t have a maid of honor by her side on her wedding day. I also thought about missing one of my heroes @lanadelrey perform in LA. I even thought about my new coworkers - people that I was barely getting to know, but welcomed me with open arms. I couldn’t imagine them finding out that I suddenly committed suicide with no explanation. In short, I’m glad to say I’m still here. And I’m grateful af to see 24 tomorrow. . . I’m also so sorry to those who I put under overwhelming stress and worry with my unpredictable emotions. Again - I can’t thank you guys enough for supporting me. The real me. The me that exists beyond the glam aesthetic bullshit and gym selfies. It means more than you could ever imagine ♥️
idk what i did to deserve such thoughtful friends 🌹 tysm for this aesthetic af early birthday gift @sea_foams - you da man Coach Steve! 🤘🏻
i don’t belong here . . . 🥀
i have no fear, i have only love ♥️
i dream in denim . . . 🌹
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